Offering in-person therapy in Frisco and Haslet, TX. Online sessions for residents of Texas and Washington.

Healing from an Abusive Relationship

Deep down, you know something isn’t right…

But you haven’t been able to put your finger on what it is.

Past partners told you repeatedly how nothing you did was ever right – they even tried to control how you think and make decisions.

Whenever you tried to stand up for yourself and put them in their place for mistreating you, they convinced you that you were the crazy one for not appreciating how good they were to you.

They publicly demeaned and belittled you in front of your kids to show how much smarter they are than you.

They tried to “push you over the edge” to make you appear to your family and friends as if you’re mentally unstable, and they are the most loving and caring person who doesn’t understand why you’re “like this.”

They felt insecure about anyone you claimed friendship with and did their best to put a wedge between you and your closest family and friends, so they could isolate you and insulate you within their divisive grip.

You’ve been isolated for so long, and you long for connection, so you open up to others and begin to let them into your circle, only to erect 12’ walls and retreat into isolation when anyone starts to get close.

You’ve become perfectionistic; you impose expectations on yourself that are harsher than the strictest boss. You beat yourself up whenever something doesn’t go as planned in your work or personal life.

And as hard as you work, you rarely stop to notice or even celebrate your achievements. You hold others around you (family and friends) to very high standards, and it begins to seep through in how you talk about yourself or tell stories about others who fail to meet your expectations.

It started as a child… with cues that you weren’t important enough.

Maybe your parents were too busy to attend the events that meant something to you.

Or you didn’t receive encouragement or reminders that you’re loved.

Or perhaps your parents constantly chose your siblings over you.

Naturally, you internalized these beliefs…

And you constantly reinforce them with negative self-talk:

“No one will ever love me.”

“I’ll never amount to anything.”

“Why can’t I do anything right?”

Is it any wonder your self-esteem has gone to crap?

Other people compliment you on all the great things that make you unique, but you don’t believe them. Why would you, after being verbally trampled for so many years?

It’s probably hard even to look in the mirror sometimes. After all, you see the ugly picture someone else painted of you, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

You continually second-guess your instincts, thoughts, opinions, and sometimes even your feelings.

And it goes even deeper. On some level, you’ve probably started to believe that you DESERVED to be mistreated.

That’s why you’ve had trouble with relationships.

Do you have trouble keeping relationships going past the short term?

Do you end up sabotaging the relationship by pushing them away when they get too close?

Do you always feel unworthy of love or attraction?

Can you not trust yourself to date or pick romantic partners for fear of repeating the past?

That’s because you’ve been choosing partners who continue the abuse patterns you endured in childhood.

This is an energy-draining endeavor…

You’re always running yourself into the ground.

Spending your time and energy helping others while ignoring yourself.

Taking on extra responsibilities to distract yourself from dealing with your own issues.

Sulking in frustration because you can’t set and maintain boundaries at work or home.

When the dust of the day settles, you feel immense loneliness.

Part of you longs for a loving, nurturing relationship.

The other part of you is just grateful to be free from the abusive tongue lashings of past lovers who vowed to cherish and protect you.

But you don’t trust yourself to choose a partner. After all, you screwed up the first, second, and even third time, so why should the future be any different?

The thought of going on dates or meeting anyone new frightens you.

You surround yourself with family and other people your age because that feels safe.

You know something has to change.

The longer you ignore these problems, the worse they will get.

You’ll keep getting the same results as long as you keep doing the same things.

It’s time to try something new.

I can’t wait to help you make transformational change.

Congratulations… because reading this is the first step!

In a safe and welcoming environment, we’ll get to the root causes of the limiting beliefs and trapped emotions that have made you a magnet for people who are unworthy of your time and energy.

Here’s what we’ll do…

We’ll embark on a visualization journey to help you release negative emotions from the past.

First, I will invite you to be introspective through a series of historical questions designed to yield insights into how your traumatic situation came to be created. We will be co-discovering insights into how the trauma manifests in your daily interactions, whether you are in a partnership or single.

I will guide you through a visualization process to pinpoint the root cause of your negative emotions and limiting beliefs. One by one, we will release the negative emotions by revisiting the root cause event before traveling from the past back into the future to execute the release fully.

Next, we will eradicate limiting beliefs. Once we have untangled all of the lies and deception you’ve been fed about who you are as a person, we will create a compelling future filled with achievable goals. Goals that will position you to be the best version of yourself and to stand congruent in your values.

We’ll explore your values to clarify your identity and break the cycle of abuse.

When we come under the thumb of others for so long, squashing our own will in favor of someone else’s, we can easily lose our sense of self. Having repeatedly heard messages of darkness, defeat, and other derogatory messages, we internalize these messages.

These derogatory descriptions begin to etch away at us until we forget the beautiful person we were when we were born. This impacts our behavior and fundamentally shifts how we interact with the world around us.

When we clear out the negativity from childhood and romantic relationships and re-establish who we are at our core, this liberates us to return to ourselves, know our identity, and fully embrace every ounce of our authenticity. Self-esteem dramatically improves through this process.

Having this newfound clarity better equips us to attract the right kind of partner and repel partners who would subject us to repeated abuse sequences from our past. Without engaging in this important step, it is too easy to attract and default to abusive partners in the future – it feels familiar, even if unwanted.

We’ll create a plan for your future.

I will guide you to dream. Dream of what your ideal future will look like, free from the residual effects of abuse. Having released negative emotions and limiting beliefs about yourself, you are now positioned to see a future filled with possibilities.

What might this more empowering way of seeing yourself hold in store for you? Clients have recovered from the direst abusive and neglectful relationships. Past clients have transformed from limiting beliefs such as “Others hold me back from achieving my fullest potential,” “I am unworthy of love,” and “I am unlovable,” for example, to a renewed faith in their worth and the value they bring to the world, and to relationships.

I’ll meet you where you are on the journey to recovery and co-create tasks, assignments, and experiences that solidify your self-esteem and help you to reach your ultimate destination. I’ll support you as you work toward goals that will help you improve your relationships. When you’re ready, you will be positioned to have that special someone find you or to seek them out on your own proactively.

Gaining clarity on who you are and standing congruent in it will make you a magnet for people who share similar values and want the same things you want in life – no more wasting time with people who continually devalue you and don’t deserve you. No more confusion over how you can make miserable people happy. Out with the lies and deception about how you created the abusive response in your past partner.

You’re ready to take this brave next step…

… and I can’t wait to work with you! Once your negative emotions are eliminated, and you’re clear on what you want in a relationship, you’ll feel good about trusting yourself to attract good people into your life. You CAN emerge on the other side, living the life you were destined to live. Say “goodbye” to loneliness and self-doubt and “hello” to confidence and renewed self-esteem! Let’s get started! 

 

Neurofeedback Therapy for Trauma

Neurofeedback therapy for trauma is a cutting-edge approach to healing that harnesses the brain’s natural ability to rewire and regulate itself. Trauma, whether from a single distressing event or prolonged exposure to stress, can have profound effects on the brain, leading to symptoms such as flashbacks, hypervigilance, and emotional dysregulation. Neurofeedback therapy offers a promising solution by targeting dysregulated brainwave patterns associated with trauma.

During a neurofeedback session, clients are connected to sensors that monitor their brainwave activity in real time. Through specialized training exercises, individuals learn to modulate their brainwave patterns, promoting relaxation, emotional stability, and resilience. By providing immediate feedback on brain activity, neurofeedback empowers clients to develop greater self-awareness and control over their physiological responses to stressors.

Unlike traditional talk therapies, neurofeedback therapy directly targets the underlying neurological imbalances that contribute to trauma symptoms. This non-invasive and drug-free approach offers a safe and effective alternative or complement to traditional trauma treatments.

Research suggests that neurofeedback therapy can lead to significant improvements in trauma-related symptoms, including reduced anxiety, improved sleep quality, and enhanced emotional regulation. With continued practice and support from a trained therapist, individuals can experience long-lasting relief from the debilitating effects of trauma, reclaiming their lives and moving forward with confidence and resilience. If you or someone you know is struggling with trauma, consider exploring the transformative benefits of neurofeedback therapy as a path to healing and recovery.