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How to Set Yourself Up for Success in Talk Therapy: 11 Tips for Choosing the Right Therapist

How to Set Yourself Up for Success in Talk Therapy
11 Things to Look for in a Therapist

I sometimes get questions about how to find a therapist, or what to look for in selecting a therapist. Choosing a therapist can seem more complex than finding a Doctor to treat a physical condition. The below steps are a great way to begin finding a therapist who will be a good fit for you.


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A woman sitting comfortably on a sofa while using her laptop, smiling as she explores options for talk therapy. This image illustrates the importance of selecting the right therapist for a successful therapy journey, as discussed in the article 'How to Set Yourself up for Success in Talk Therapy.' A Better You Wellness emphasizes finding a therapist who meets your needs for a positive therapeutic experience.

  1. Start when you’re ready. Before enrolling, consider whether you can regularly attend therapy sessions and complete homework or reflective work during and between sessions. What could you delegate or release from your busy schedule to afford time for therapy?

  2. Choose a therapist who feels approachable and warm, someone with whom you can build a connection. During the first 1-3 sessions, you and your therapist will spend time getting to know each other and building rapport.

  3. Pick a therapist who shows empathy towards you and your presenting issue.
  4. Your therapist should be professional. They should communicate clear boundaries for your therapeutic relationship. Sessions will focus on you, with little to no discussion about the therapist. If you request a referral to another therapist, they should provide one.
  5. Pick a therapist who will listen to you and consider your input in creating your treatment plan. Therapy should be a collaborative process between you and your therapist for two reasons:
    1. You are much more likely to comply with treatment if you have a voice in it, or better yet if it is your idea.

    2. You know yourself best, including what feels realistic for you. Share your input so your therapist can consider it in your treatment plan.

  6. If you’re hoping for your circumstances to change as a result of therapy, ask your therapist if their style includes teaching you skills and new tools or techniques for coping with life circumstances, as opposed to solely empathizing with you and validating you.
  7. Seek therapists who ask thought-provoking questions and offer new perspectives on your problems without making you feel judged. Feeling judged can make you guarded, which is not helpful for therapy.
  8. If you’re someone who values more direct guidance, look for a therapist who will not only provide guidance but will give you concrete and actionable steps to accomplish your goals.
  9. A good therapist should be flexible and willing to adjust or adapt as needed. In most cases, unless safety is a concern, they will respect your pace and meet you where you are in your journey. If your therapist notices no improvement after a significant time, they may suggest referring you to someone else.
    This referral process is in keeping with some ethical guidelines for the profession.
  10. Consider whether you will use insurance for your sessions, or whether you will pay cash rates. If using insurance, look for therapists who are In-Network with your insurance you can start by searching your insurance directory for providers, or by searching therapist directories such as Psychology Today, Good Therapy, or Zencare. If it’s not possible to find a therapist In-Network, look for someone who is covered as an Out-of-Network provider. You may be able to submit what is known as a Superbill to your insurance for reimbursement of some of your therapy costs.
  11. Consider whether to attend therapy in person or online and choose a therapist who offers your preferred option. Online therapy can be just as effective as in-person. If you choose online therapy, ensure you have a private, safe space for your sessions to speak freely. Avoid interruptions from family members, as they can disrupt the flow of conversation. Be mindful of nearby devices your phone or laptop may connect to, as this could threaten confidentiality. Avoid having therapy sessions in public places with unsecured WIFI, as this could also jeopardize your confidentiality.
 

Choosing the Right Therapist and Managing the Therapeutic Relationship

Therapists have different approaches depending on their background, identity, style, personality, and culture. It’s important to choose someone you feel comfortable with. If therapy isn’t going well or progress is stalled, speak with your therapist. Share your concerns and allow them to address the issue. If that doesn’t work, you can choose a new therapist. It is best to let your current therapist know that you won’t be returning. You may later need your records transferred to a new therapist, or may need to reach out in the future, so ending the relationship on a positive note is ideal whenever possible.

Have questions or need more support? Reach out to me today!


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